Love is a Human Experience, Not A Political Statement

I Love you Anne.....Someday this will all come true....
And to my friend Rian thumbs up to you for leading the way...HUGs

SLUT-O-RAMA

Last Sunday I had so much fun bonding with my old gurlfriends from my previous work in the Drug cartel. And we joined the TLYP(The Love Yourself Project) Open photo shoot, a very good cause plus my friends really dig the event as they were dolled up and felt like models in the said activity.

But what really stole the thunder in that otherwise eventful day was that, I did not expect to bump into Guys that I shagged in the past. First was in the coffee shop that we went to meet up, then the second and third guy was in the photo shoot.

This are like random guys that I have met online and surprisingly I saw again that afternoon. Generally those guys that you just sleep with and you never see again, But apparently that day was an exception.
I really didn't know how to react I guess,so I did what comes naturally say Hi then Bye.

Now comes the question Was I such a slut that I'm beginning to encounter guys that I slept with in the past?

I guess being in an HIV Volunteer group does attract the crowd that mostly lurks in the shadows of my past... I am just hoping that i don't get to see them in groups or worst they knew each other and their friends...That would be too scary LOL

An Ode to the One That got Away....

I love Adele , vocally she's simply flawless. She's the antithesis of Madonna or say Lady Gaga in terms of style and showmanship.

And like whenever I wanna be angry or maybe on Emo mode I just turn up the volume of my I pod and listen to Adele 19 and 21. Her soulful and emotive vocals simply takes me there lol.

she recently released her new single "SOMEONE LIKE YOU" and for the nth time i have loved that song from the very first time I heard it. The theme of the song, how it was sung, never fails to make me feel melancholy and regret.

Regret mostly because I do identify with the freakin song. For some reasons Seven years ago I met this really wonderful guy thru a gay social networking site. As how it usually goes we chat exchanged phone numbers and decided we meet as soon as possible.
The chat, the texts and phone calls lasts for two weeks then we then decided to finally meet ."BOOTY CALL ALERT" lol

We both work so after office hours was set. We decided to meet in front of his office as he said he'll be coming from fieldwork and he stays in the dorm of the government office he works at.

it was eight o'clock and I was parked in front of his office waiting, then a Pajero alighted from the corner of EDSA, And there he was looking mighty cute in his business attire. He tapped on my window and asked if it was indeed me. i let him in the car and we talked and introduced ourselves to one another, I really don't know what happened if its lust , burning desire to get in each others pants or the long talks in the phone that we had, But I guess there's electricity in the air and we kissed and groped each other.Eventually ending up in bed.

Call it whirlwind but we were so into each other that we decided to be a couple.
The first weeks was pure unadulterated passionate and really sexually charged.
We simply cant get our hands off each other to a point wherein we did it in a movie theater watching of all movies SHREK 2 LOL.

I don't know if I was really fucked up in the head, having this all around nice guy as my boyfriend but I still found time to play around even if there's this guy who actually offered me genuine Love and lots of sex at the same time.

I felt like Mr. wonderful is suffocating me or I'm just a plain and simple Slut.

Then things got awry and bad mainly because of me.
I'm not returning his calls , I Ignored him and gave crappy excuses when I stood him up on our dates which happened a lot .

Eventually we ended the affair after three months, mainly, in hindsight was all my fault.

I had always believed in the saying "don't cry over spilt milk" but this is an exception I guess .

I have constantly regretted my actions then up to now, that I had to be in a great relationship with a wonderful person and I blew it with my overblown Drama Queen persona.

A few years passed then I met him again in a mall and he's with somebody else, I don't know how to react that time.
On fight or flight mode then He smiled at me and approached me. he introduced the guy as his friend and seemed pleasantly happy to see me.
I said hi but I simply cannot bear the sight of the two knowing very well that it could have been me with him.

So in my usual evasive ways I made an excuse saying I have to meet my boss or something and hurriedly left the scene.

I actually felt a tear in my eye but I guess there's no use and He would simply be just the one that got away.....

The Right Time...

My friend R just got married and I am really happy for him. This is his second marriage and I think this time its a keeper...

I wasn't able to meet his life partner but judging from my friend's comments and how he lovingly writes about him I'd say its a fit.
Makes me wanna think actually as I have not had a steady relationship for two years already . The last one was a definite fluke but who cares actually, its all in the past now no matter how ugly and painful it was.

Lately I had been dating this one guy exclusively for two months, but no commitments yet.
Fuck Buddy if I may use the term loosely. We enjoy each others company and we have loads of fun whenever we go out or simply have a blast when were together.(literally and figuratively).

Which makes me think, What does it have to take for me to get serious again with another guy?

In all fairness my current paramour kinda fits the bill for the qualification,I'll call him Mr. P.
Firstly he is a very nice guy totally no temper at all. Although I'd have to say that I have known him only for two months, so whose to say what EVIL lurks within LOL.
He is good looking with a fabulous body to boot. We do enjoy each others company immensely and with him there's no dead air when were conversing,We practically finish each others sentences .
He's not that tall but its okay as I'm not exactly tall either, He does make up for it in other aspects (body part) LOL.

Then we go to one of the most important qualification which is sexual chemistry .
And Boy I can attest Mr. P is so damn good , I would say in all my years of doing the deed he is so up there probably one of the best.
Best as in the whites of my eyes roll and appear due to sheer ecstasy when were doing it LOL.

Having said all of that I guess I'm still not convinced that he is the one, Maybe I had become to cynical and jaded about Love but Ive had so many unfortunate relationships that started out really good but ended so badly that one feels so numbed.

For now I'll just take it one day at a time and hope I get a sign that Mr. P is the one. If not then I guess I can wait, I have waited for two years for cryin out loud so whats a few months or maybe another year to take the freakin plunge.

But I have a good feeling about this though...... :)